#50 The Doll With The Velvet Dress

When you found her
You thought she was a kaleidoscope -

Millions of brightly colored pieces scattered across the floor.
Lilliputian shoes left by the door.
You can still hear the echo of her voice, of her song like
Wind chimes in the breeze you knew it wouldn't last long.
She was fragile

And looked too serene for anyone to know.
Each day she watched you come and go.
Yet you only kept her as part of a collection.
You admired her for prim, pink, proper, passive, porcelain perfection.
She hated you.

You dragged her by the hair.
She begged you not to be shared.
She pleaded with glassy eyes
And you laughed at the size of the sleeve
She kept her heart on.

You used to hold her like she was the last thing you would touch.
She was beautiful before you loved her too much,
But the only thing she despised more than when you adored her
Was when you ignored her.
She loved you.

The day you put her on the shelf
You did not look at her.

Relief turned to fear and fear turned to panic
And her panic was desperate and desperation made her manic
With purpose. She didn't know how to be alone.
She can't learn how to be on her own.
She jumped.

She fell
Down,
Heart first into her shoes,
Because that was the part of her that she wanted to follow you first.

She felt her body all over the floor
Only half of her ear and the tip of her nose made it through the door as you walked in.
Two glassy eyes pleaded with your sole to look down
But the last thing she knew was a crunch.

#49 Like I Wish You Could Have Been

WE'RE ALL DYING TOO SLOWLY TOO SLOWLY
WHILE THE WIND BLOWS SOFT ON MY WINDOW SILL
OUR BODIES ARE STILL
BUT OUR SOULS ARE MOVING
MOVING WITH THAT WIND
SPINNING IN THE BREEZE
EASY
PEASY
LOVEY
DOVEY
LIKE YOU WISH YOU COULD'VE BEEN
YOU WERE TOO STIFF
TO BE AS LIVELY AS LOVE NEEDED YOU TO BE
AND AS UNSEEMLY AS IT SEEMS
YOU DO NEED TO MOVE TO MAKE LOVE
SO PLAY POSSUM IN THE STREETS
NOT IN THE BED SHEETS
SWEETHEART
YOUR BODY IS A CANDY COATED CHAMELEON
IN ONE SECOND FLAT
YOU CAN GO FROM A
HOW-MANY-LICKS-TO-THE-CENTER-OF-A-TOOTSIE-POP PEACOCK
TO ME BEING ABLE TO FROST A CUPCAKE WITH YOUR ROT
WHILE YOU LAY THERE LIKE A DEAD FISH
THIS BEDROOM IS NOT A GRAVEYARD
YOUR RESTING PLACE IS GUARDED IS BY A HEADBOARD
NOT A HEAD STONE
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE CARVING IMPRINTS OF YOUR FINGERNAILS
IMMORTALIZING LUST IN CHEAP WOOD
NOT SCRATCHING LAZY EPITAPHS TO ROMANCE
FOR GOD'S SAKE
THE LAST SLOW JAM I HEARD WAS A REQUIEM
SWEETHEART
YOU TURNED SO COLD SO QUICKLY
YOU FROZE YOURSELF TO YOUR SIDE OF THE BED
ALL I CAN DO IS DRAW HEARTS INTO THE FROST ON YOUR BACK
AND WATCH YOU SIGHING
BUT THAT'S OKAY BECAUSE IT MEANS YOU'RE STILL BREATHING
BUT I'M STILL WATCHING, STILL WATCHING YOU DYING
TOO SLOWLY TOO SLOWLY
YOUR SOUL IS LEAVING ME
SPINNING IS THE BREEZE
EASY
PEASY
LOVEY
DOVEY
LIKE I WISH YOU COULD HAVE BEEN

#48 Bleh

I get kind of sick of myself sometimes.