Mongolian Sweetheart says no one will want to marry her. There are several issues with this statement:
1. She is the most marriable person I know.
2. If Mongo never has children, the world will be deprived of the most awesome future mother ever.
3. I already have key parts of the wedding planned.
Starting from engagement to actual wedding, I have a few things that need to be made clear. The groom will ask for my blessing first. He will automatically know to do this, because I will be pre-screening all of her potential dating options. Whoever is most suitable at the time will first have an interview with me. If I find them unacceptable, undeserving of her, or just plain creepy, they will not have the opportunity to date her. After the select few pass my first test, they will have to talk to Mongo's father. He will pick at most two after his interview with the potential dating options. After the father's two are selected, the other family members will pick the PDC based on how helpful, respectful, charming, and interesting he is. Whoever is picked has just now been selected to take Mongolian Sweetheart on a first date!
The date will monitored by either I or her father, depending on who is available and less suspicious. If there is any kissing, awkward touching, or inappropriateness he will no longer be a candidate and the process will start over. However, if he makes it through the first date he will officially be the boyfriend.
The date must have the following items:
1. Flowers for the mother
2. Firm hand shake for the father
3. High-five to younger siblings
4. A compliment on Mongo's outfit
5. Dinner
6. Hand holding and a hug if he smells nice
So now, let's say they've been dating a while. Anniversary presents on time, never forgets her birthday, etc. He decides he would like to marry her. Hooray!
But hold up, buddy. We're not done yet!
Though he has made it this long, he's still got to proper about this. First things first, he asks for my blessing. If I find out a week or even two seconds later that he didn't ask me first, there is a problem. He then asks for the blessing of her parents. Now, here comes the fun part!
When he proposes they are going to be alone. Alone in the sense that there will be a spy camera in his collar, and all of Mongo's family and friends will be watching from a website that I make that streams the video live and and then saves it for a later date.
The PDC has now become a MC, or marriage candidate. I've decided to leave them alone for marriage preparation, but come time for the wedding, I'm coming back!
To be continued!
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